The Journey is Far From Over, But There is Always Goodness Along the Way

    As the genius behind this blog, I have been looking forward to my first post for quite awhile. I entered this last week with great anticipation, sure I would have so many ideas I couldn't possibly pick one. But then this week was hard, just like the previous three weeks. Quite honestly, life hasn't been this hard in a long time. Nothing seems to be going right. I knew earlier this year that going to graduate school was a good decision, and living in my current apartment was a good choice. The only real "yes" I seemed to get from my prayers was that I should stay around Provo. So I started school, willingly accepted a calling, and became excited about new opportunities to be social. I was going to excel in school, there were going to be lots of really handsome men in my area to date, and I was going to have overall balance.
    Then reality hit. And I have more homework than I have ever had, I am not sleeping well and so find myself tired and irritable, and my ward calling is outrageously demanding. This week I was going to quit school because it's a lot of work, it isn't fun anymore, and one of my professors said his job was to "squash my passions". That's so nice. My job is filled with paperwork. I am unsure about my dating life (or lack thereof), and it seems like all my attempts to be social end with bitter disappointment. And Frankie, my betta, is reaching the end of his fishie life. More than once in the last couple weeks I have knelt down at the end of the day and felt so far away from God that I wonder if He can even hear me, or worse, if I will be able to hear Him through all the outside noise. I have shed lots of tears, felt miserable, and wondered what I can do to feel happy again. Life is about being joyful, and my life is so good! What is there really to complain about? But I've struggled with it just the same.
    Yesterday I was able to listen to a really great Relief Society lesson. The lesson was about self esteem, self worth, and self confidence. And since I seem to have less of all three of those lately, the lesson was for me. The teacher gave four pointers for feeling good: 1. Positive Affirmations; 2. The Rule of Three; 3. Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'; 4. Optimism.
1. Positive Affirmations. Every day I need to get up saying good things about myself and others. When I think of affirmations, I think of two YouTube videos:

I have great qualities, so why wouldn't I remind myself of the great gifts God has given me on a daily basis?
2. The Rule of Three. Every night before bed, I have to think of three great things that happened. And for each thing I also have to write down 3 ways that event could have gone worse and 3 ways that event could have gone better. It's a nice way to gain perspective.
3. Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'. I need to stop being negative. I need to forgive others their shortcomings. People usually mean well, and are rarely unkind on purpose. And I need to forgive myself for my faults and mistakes. I can't escape my baggage and move forward until I forgive myself and realize that God will still use me and bless me, despite my imperfections.
4. Optimism. I just need to be positive. In uncertain times, I can expect the best. When life is rough, I can still know great things will come from God. He has never let me down yet.

    So the moral of today? The journey is far from over. And there are bumps still to come. But with a positive attitude and God on my side, I will cross the finish line with triumph!

And so will you. God bless you today and always. He will.

--Jess