Once, multiple years ago my brother and I were sitting in the BYU football stadium watching BYU vs Utah. It was a November and near my birthday, maybe even the day of it. While we were there during halftime the announcer started doing a life sketch about a man. They told how he was a doctor until in his 60's and then he retired and went into real-estate, and how he drove himself to St George once or twice a week until he was in his 90's. They talked about his family and friends and then they said, "And today is his 104th birthday". And the guy walked out to the field and 60,000 fans sang him happy birthday as he stood there and waved to all of us. That was the day when I decided I wanted to live to be 104 and still be ambulatory. Now, I have my doubts that I'll reach my "eleventy-first" (111th) Birthday like Bilbo Baggins did, as I have no real say in my genetic time-clock, and when my clock winds down then I'll be done with this life. But for now, that is my goal, and goals are good things to have and to work for.
So why am I thinking about this now. Probably because I have one of those major milestone birthdays coming up in a few weeks. I'll be the big 5 - 0. That means its only two more years until I'm "middle aged", "over the hump", and "starting on the back nine." I do find it a time to be a little reflective and grateful for the life I've lived up to now, and for the second half of my life that will start in yet another year or two. One of the things I'm grateful for is my family, and another is the friends I've had through-out my life.
There are many people who have influenced me and for whom I am really appreciative. But its easy to forget all the people who have been part of your life once they move along.
One of these friends of mine passed away early last year. His name was Wayne Lambourne. We met at work in 1998 or 1999. We worked together for a few years but remained friends long afterward, in fact, until he died. Even though I hadn't seen him for year, we stayed connected online. Every now and again, he'd ping me on instant messenger and we'd have a great chat. He even became friends with another friend of mine I worked with years later via facebook. Although, he and she never met, they also shared a great online friendship. He was an amazing artist and had a real thirst for knowledge. He would often tell me what new thing he had learned, or was researching.
One time he shared with me that he kept what he called his "Book of the Dead." No this doesn't have anything to do with "The Mummy" or Imhotep. This was a book were he kept the names of all the people he personally knew in his life who had passed away. It was his way of remembering them and the influence they had on his life. After he died I decided to make my own "Book of the Dead". Like his book, mine doesn't include anyone famous or that I knew "of" only people with whom I had a real, and personal relationship.
The first person I can remember from my life who passed away was my Great Grandmother Simpson. I am told I also had a wonderful relationship with my Great Grandmother Parker, but I was too young when she died and I don't remember her at all. She died sometime before I was five. My Great Grandmother Simpson passed away when I was 10 or 11. I remember her at family dinners and gathering and sitting on her lap when I was younger, and talking with her. I remember feeling at peace with her.
My Grandfather Simpson passed away when I was 14. As a kid he was one of my two favorite people. He was everything a grandfather was supposed to be, at least to me. As a side note, my other favorite person of my childhood was (and is) my Grandmother Simpson who is still alive today and about to celebrate her 95 birthday.
My grandmother has lived alone for over 30 years. She has, of course, had many family and friends, and some have stayed with her. By alone I mean she has been without her spouse since 1979. Over the years, she has taught me some really important lessons. One thing she taught me is to really listen to people. I'll admit I'm still far from perfect at doing this, and have to work on it. As a kid or an adult I would tell my grandmother something, and she would listen, and remember it. Sometimes a week or two later she would ask me about what it was we had talked about. Other times she would give me a newspaper clipping or something she had found that was directly related to what we had talked about.
She also taught me to be thoughtful. Her gifts were always thoughtful. She didn't give them just to give them, but she had thought about them, and picked them out specifically for me, (and later for my children) because she knew us, and cared about us, and thought about us.
Even now, when she can't see very well, or hear very well, and doesn't get out of her house much at all... she is still thoughtful. If you tell her something she will think about it, and when you talk to her next she will ask you questions about it, and tell you the thoughts she's had as she has time to contemplate. She has always been thoughtful.
As I've gotten older, the people in my book are not all my elders. The majority still are, but there are other people I've known who passed away younger than I am now. Others who are just plain young when they die. When you get to my grandmothers age, everyone she knows who is older has already passed away. But age doesn't matter, what matters is how you lived the years you have.
So why should I remember them, why should I keep this small record? I believe I am who I am because of them. In many little ways each of them has affected me and my life. Its been interesting since I started keeping this book to suddenly remember someone who I hadn't thought of in years, and them add them to my list. Many of them passed away before I realized the influence they had had on me. Most before I told them. But I think by remembering them I bring them closer.
I know they aren't really gone, they have just left this mortal life. Our separation will be brief, a blink-of-an-eye in cosmic terms. Then we are all promised we'll rise again from death, through the resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. And because he broke the bands of death, all men will be raised again from the grave. We will all be together again some day. And in that day, we'll get to thank those who have influenced our life. We'll get to laugh and share, and talk, and hug, and be together again. So for now, my book of the dead is a good way for me to remember these great people from time to time, to make sure what they have taught me, and the example they were for me has not completely been forgotten.
And until I see them again, I'm glad for their memory, and hope I'm able to share with those I meet some of the things my friends have taught me.
The Dad
No comments:
Post a Comment