Once again my blog post starts a little ways back; back in September when I spent a few days in Logan while waiting for the water to be turned back on in my apartment in Rexburg so I could move in. The first night I was there I realized (to my sadness) that I had forgotten to ask my dad for a school blessing. It was the first time in my educational life that I had not received a blessing from him. Tears came to my eyes as I sent my dad a text and told him of my dismay. He replied that he was sorry, he had forgotten too, but that I could ask my brother (who had just returned from his mission) for a school blessing. In the school blessing I was told this would be an academically challenging year for me, and that it may be the most academically challenging year I have ever had.
I'm not going to lie, that made me a little nervous. During my last semester I had been working 17 hours a week, taking 15 credits, and had surgery half way through the semester and somehow managed to come out with no grades lower than a B+. I was very impressed with myself but didn't think I could do that again. Apparently I can because I seem to get sick or injured a lot, and this semester I'm working 20 hours and taking 16 credits. I have managed to keep my grades up and raise those less desirable letters, but still I seem to fall into bed exhausted sometime between 10:30 and 11 when I'm lucky only to get up again at 6 so I can get ready for work.
Let's just say I have felt like there are not enough hours in the day to work, go to class, do homework, fulfill my callings, and attempt to have some sort of a social life, okay let's be honest, I have no social life. Anyways, I was feeling like I had as much on my plate as I could handle when I looked into dates for Grad School applications and realized that first of all the program that I had been planning on applying to, the deadline had passed and I had nothing ready to turn in. Secondly that the new program that I decided to look into required the applicant to take the GRE which I have not studied for at all and which I will have to take in a month.
With all that on my mind, getting up this morning was hard. I felt like the GRE was the straw that would break this camel's back. Then as I sat on my knelt down to say my morning prayers I realized that I had started slacking off in my spiritual duties. I had been staying up later and later doing homework which meant I had been pushing my alarm back further and further until I was getting up and rushing off to work. That's not a bad thing except it meant that I had not been reading my scriptures in the morning and I have discovered that if I don't read my scriptures first thing in the morning it doesn't happen that day. Not that I don't think about it later, it just gets pushed to the side.
Yesterday in Stake Conference I sang with the Stake Choir and the song we sang was How Firm a Foundation. This morning as I picked up my scriptures to read them before getting ready for work I turned to D&C 128, which is a letter from the Prophet Joseph Smith to the saints answering questions they had about the temple. As I was reading this section the third verse of that hymn came to my mind "Fear not I am with, oh be not dismayed, For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand. Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand." I had never understood that the last bit of that verse until now. We are upheld by God's hand. He gives us the strength we need when we feel like we can't go on. All we have to do is remember to call on him.
I had been trying to do everything by myself. I had forgotten to call on God and ask him for the strength to persevere and for the ability to stretch and prioritize my time to get everything done that I needed to. There is such a difference in my life in the days I call upon Heavenly power and the days that I don't. It's not enough to just pray, or just read your scriptures, or just attend the temple. You have to be doing all of it. Christ is willing to lift our burdens and make up for all that we cannot do, all he needs us to do is ask for his help and then do as much as we can.
This is one of my favorite pictures of Christ. Sometimes all we need is to see his face to remember how much he loves us and how close he really is!
Love you all,
Ky
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