It's Not the Answers that Matter.

How often do we as individuals search for the answers? The answers to a test, to our problems, to debt, to heartache, to life, the universe and everything? As great of an answer that 42 is, somehow, it just doesn't cut it. We search deeper. We look longer and travel further and farther than ever before, hoping that we will have that moment of rapture when we find the magic answer. Some of us turn to money, another to love and still another to solitude. Despite the differences in methods, we all seek the same thing: answers.

I've reflected on this perpetual human search. There's something inside of each of us that yearns for a better world. The solution, I've found, isn't, in fact, with the solution. Rather, the solution is questions. Not just any old question will do, but the right question. Too frequently we think that it will all be better when we have the answer. Yet, I have found that to find the answer, we must first ask the right questions. Of whom do we ask, then? It's simple. Of yourself, of God, of your mother or your friend, whomever you need. In reality there is only one who will have all of the answers, but He is waiting to hear our queries. Many many times, He will answer those queries through others. That means that our questions shouldn't be solely asked of Him, but also of those in whom we trust and love. When we ask the right questions of the right people, we start down the right road to the right solution. 

Now, this doesn't mean that we will always find an easy answer or a quick resolution to our conundrum. Certainly not. Rather, it means that we will grow and develop along the way as we push our limits and the limits of others. We step outside of ourselves as we seek the questions that will give us answers. You can't start a race at the finish line, you must start at the beginning. In this life, the beginning is the right question. The finish line only comes after the journey between the question and the answer. 

One of the most frightening things about asking questions is the doubt that it can raise in our hearts. To that, I have only this to say. There are times when it is cast into the heart of men to doubt. A man of principle and faith will stand and fight for his cause. Though the darkness encroach upon his heart, he will grasp the shreds of light that live in his heart to conjure a sharp and terrible sword. The truths that live in him in tandem with eternal law are forged into the bane of this darkness. In the sight of fleeting shadows and dwindling dimness, the truth survives a day more in the heart of this man.

Seek the truth, ask the right questions. Live a little. If we could all live a little more like this, I think we would all find that the answers aren't so far away. Many times, they are inside of us. It's the journey that we have to take that will test us to the very limit. I think this little clip of a very inspiring film will help me with my point.  

Sometimes to find negative #25 we must cross into the dangerous and untold portions of our heart. God speed you in your journey.

Linus, The Grinch and Me .... How Cartoon's taught me about Christmas

I'd like to share with you how cartoons taught me about Christmas. Now before anyone thinks that my parents didn’t teach me about the true meaning of Christmas, we should remember that just because I didn’t learn doesn’t mean they didn’t teach me.

I know my mom read us Christmas stories and scriptures.  I remember to this day a creche she had and set up every year.   I remember it because my mom’s name is Gloria and the little ceramic Angel that hung on top of the stable had a banner around her that read “Gloria”.   I always thought that was because it was my mom’s nativity, not that Glory in Latin is Gloria.  So I’m sure my parents did the best job they could at the time to teach me about Christ, and Christmas and the true meaning of Christmas.   Like I said, that doesn’t mean that is what I remember.

I remember learning about Christmas from two cartoons.  The first one is "Charlie Brown’s Christmas" and the second is "How The Grinch Stole Christmas". 

Everyone loves Charlie Brown, the sad little round headed kid that seems to be the Eeyore of his world.  There are several lessons I learned from Charlie Brown.   Sometimes little things in life can make a difference.  Like the little tree he chooses on the lot.  Sometimes those little things need our attention, and love, and caring.  At Christmas time, it’s the little things that make the difference.

The world is too caught up in its own trendiness.  Lucy is the perfect embodiment of the world’s view of Christmas.  It’s all about the “me” factor.  Lucy isn’t bad; she just doesn’t realize the higher level and more important aspect of having a Christ-centered Christmas.  Many of us get too caught up in the process of Christmas and all the glitter and lights.

However, most importantly, I can never read Luke 2 without hearing the innocent child voice of Linus Van Pelt, alone on the stage, spot light centered on him reciting those wonderful verses that announce the birth of our Savior.

“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night….

Youtube Link of Linus reciting Luke 2

ending with, “and that is what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.”   I don’t remember when the first time I heard Linus say those words, but I’ve heard it for many years since then.  Originally, when I was young, there were no VCRs.  (Yes, I’m older than VCRs).   So I’m sure I only heard it once a year.   But it was enough to engrain his voice in my head every time I read those verses.  And that is Ok.  The scriptures say that “A little child will lead them”. (Isaiah 11:6)  I kind of think about that.  

Who better than a child to announce the birth of the Son of God to come to live among men.

For the Grinch, of course, there is another great lesson.  Not directly about the Savior, but about each of us.  I know I read this story many, many times before I saw the show.  I’m talking about the classic TV Show, not the Jim Carry/Ron Howard film.   I have nothing against the film and think it is a good adaptation of the story, but it was the book and the TV show that impressed me long before the film.

This is a good time to bring up a fact many people don’t know about me.  I am not a huge fan of poetry.  I ‘m not saying I hate it, but I know I don’t appreciate it as much as many other people do.   I know this because I don’t like to read poetry that much and often I find myself skimming to the end so I just get through it.   I also know that all poems don’t need to rhyme.

None-the-less, I have always loved the rhyming of Dr. Seuss.  I grew up on Dr. Seuss and think he was an amazingly talented writer, both for adults as well as children.   Two of my favorite books are “The Grinch who Stole Christmas” and “The Lorax”.  There are times all through the year I find myself quoting some snippit out of one of those books.  It is just something that is part of my vernacular all year round.   I always call roast beef, “roast beast”.  I’ve always called the Christmas sing-alongs “Who Christmas sings”, and if I see a small child just learning to walk, I often find myself thinking there is “Little Cindy Lu Who, who was not more than two.”

Many times when I’m hiking up some steep mountain side I find myself muttering “10,000 feet up, up the side of Mt. Crumpet he rode with his load to the tip top to dump it.” 

I’ve loved the whole Grinch story for as long as I’ve remembered.  I memorized it in high school and recited it to children at schools with a little arm puppet I had who was my Grinch.  I’ve read it to each and everyone one of my children’s elementary school classes in Kindergarten or First Grade.  I watch the TV show every year, and usually read the book once or twice a year, as well.

So what did I learn?   Well, the whole story is tailored to one central theme, summed up in a few choice lines:

   “Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing without any presents at all!

He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it be so?

It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"

He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.

Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!"

Whenever I find myself  getting caught up in the Christmas rush, the buying of presents, or shopping hoards, the parties, the pressure, the glitter, and flash, I find myself repeating those words… "maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

So here is my wish to you this Christmas season, that you may see things like I do.  I hope a child can lead you toward the Savior and may the Grinch help you remember that Christmas is something more than all that the world makes it to be.

Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth, Good will to Men.

Grateful Day

 Colors blossom in reds and yellows, oranges and violets. The trees stand strong in the warmth of the noonday sun. Slowly the leaves spiral down in fluent and flowing mannerisms. I feel at peace with my surroundings. On this porch swing I type gratefully, in recognition of all I have. I am so utterly blessed to live in this fortunate time of exploration and life searching. But I stand not alone in shadow; I am joined hand in hand with family. With loved ones and people I treasure. Shan’t we reminisce the many superficial yet beneficial parts of our lives? This roof that covers my head, a bed from which I slumber, the food I eat. All graciously given to me by this glorious world. The earth from which everything grows has power, has energy, and has a heart. I thank the earth for the trees, the vegetables and fruit we all consume. For the clothes on my back built from the fibers of our natural resources. I rejoice in Thanksgiving, for the traditions shared for generations. From coast to coast we can do good in the world, we can be charitable and kind, honest and true, selfless even. All it takes is the desire and effort to realize you can be the change. From the bay of San Francisco I like to call home, all the way to the east rock known as Plymouth there is good in the world. Come join my hands in brotherhood and friendship, as the pilgrims did with the Native Americans. Put down your weapons of war and sit in peace, in eagerness to learn of new cultures and lifestyles; in exploration of a potential growth. Take someone’s hand in acceptance, non-judgment, and love and you shall see, you can be anything you want to be.  I am thankful, so utterly grateful to be free.  Join me in peace. Thanksgiving.

            -Jake

What is success without support? Without the ones we need to boost our morality and spirits? Can we achieve our goals in solitary searching? I think for some the answer may be yes, but for most it is a definite no. Consider whom you know, whom you interact with, and whom you care for?  Can’t we do this for everyone we see? Wouldn’t the world be a wonderful place if everyone greeted each other in open-minded acceptance with a simple smile? Nobody knows the trials each individual has endured and persevered through, or even failed to last through. What if we didn’t have automatic pre-determined biases? Only then shall we have a true Thanksgiving. In love, support, and comfort.

-Steve-o

A Farewell to Kings and a Salute to The Trees

I've always been a lover of words and a rhymer of rhymes. I suppose it's something that my father instilled in me at a young age. It never wore off and now it shapes who I am and what I plan to do in this life. There is something about artfully constructed phrases that strikes a poignant note in my heart. I get chills. I love it. I truly love words and the power that they inherently have. What a grand gift that we've been given, the gift of words to be had.
The other day, I sat down to watch the Lorax. I wasn't sure what to expect nor how to feel. It was a story that I'd treasured in the days of my boyhood. I remember my father reading from the Seuss library to me and I didn't know if modern film could do my childhood credit. By the end of the film, a lump had seated itself firmly in my throat. My eyes were hot and for the oddest reason I had the urge to go plant a tree and hug one at the same time.
Now, trees are something truly wonderful. Again, my father has been a lover of these majestic creations for as long as I can recall and last night, I realized that he'd passed that love on. Everything that I love to do in this life revolves around trees.
I love trail running and it's because I can race in the hills, the world speeding by. I'm accompanied only by the trees and their shade. There's something special about taking a trail into their realm and leaving the world behind.
I love rock climbing. I love heading into the canyons that surround Logan and scaling the cliffs and walls. The trees shelter and protect us, providing seclusion, quiet and beauty. We pass their tops as we scale and scramble and they cover the world in green yellow and red.
I love playing the drums. The wooden shells provide deep warm tones and snapping crisp rhythms. I love playing Didgeridoo and Guitar. The deep bass growl of the Didg and the soaring melodies of the Guitar are only possible because of the sacrifice of the trees.
I love writing. Now it's all digital, but a pen in hand and a book on the table are 2 things that technology will never replace.
You see, I love the trees; their branches and leaves. They house my fantasies and dreams and a realm hidden from the prying eyes of this busy busy life. It was this train of thought, that led me to write. And write I did.

My name is Andrew and I speak for the trees.

Their voices are soft and whisper in the breeze.

What they have to say is important and not easily forgot.

It can make quite a difference.

Yes, quite a whole lot.

These trees, you see, have been around a while.

They’ve been here a long time and I should rather think, they’d like to stay a time longer.

They’ve seen a great many days and winters and nights

They’ve seen battles and bickers and fights

Silently they watched as the palaces burned

Said nothing as the beaches of Normandy churned

They’ve hidden soldiers and slaves

Looked on as we dig grave after grave

In Vietnam

They felt the scorch of the Napalm

In Korea they wept

While the country never slept

Why such sadness you ask?

Shouldn’t this life be whimsical frimsical fun?

Why, there’s great gladness to spread

Happiness to have

I’m glad you think in such a bright cheery way

Shall we listen to what the trees have to say?

Wooden Sentinels and Watchers

They’ll stand in silence til the world comes to an end

What does all this mean you ask me my friend

Listen, just listen, to what the trees have to say

They were around when the world was bright and new

In a garden quite distant from here

When man did let out that first groan

Miraculous and stalwart they survived the great flood

Every climate and hill call they their home

The trees mostly and above all

Have seen something that no one else saw

In a grove a bunch of the olive types stood

As the Creator, the Greatest

Came for the sake of all good

Shuddering and hushed

They witnessed, as by a great weight we was crushed

Their roots tasted that salty, ferrous blood

Just ask the forests. They’ll tell you it’s true

They saw that, as He suffered for me and for you

It doesn’t stop there. That’s not the end.

Upon a hill the corpses of three trees were placed

Nails were used. They pierced the flesh of a tree and the Hands of a King

This memory from the trees never can be erased

Ask the olive groves as ever so slightly they bend

Their voices will echo and bounce and finally ring

We saw they swish and swither

We felt the earth groan and quiver

The trees have seen a great many things

Chirping birds and baby blue skies

Most of all, they saw that King rise

On the third day they saw the tomb empty

And nothing else mattered

Tales of woe and destructing they can artfully weave

So fierce and frightful that you’ll want to leave

But listen a little while longer

And in the peace you’ll soon feel

The presence of God dwells in the trees

It’s in their hearts, deep in their roots

Upward they point and never down

As if to say, Render to the King, His crown

In the silence of the night and the bright of the day, I encourage each of you to think, for even just a moment. Think to yourself, "If the trees could answer, what would they say?"

My name is Andrew and I speak for the trees.

The Power of Music

Once again my blog post starts a little ways back; back in September when I spent a few days in Logan while waiting for the water to be turned back on in my apartment in Rexburg so I could move in. The first night I was there I realized (to my sadness) that I had forgotten to ask my dad for a school blessing. It was the first time in my educational life that I had not received a blessing from him. Tears came to my eyes as I sent my dad a text and told him of my dismay. He replied that he was sorry, he had forgotten too, but that I could ask my brother (who had just returned from his mission) for a school blessing. In the school blessing I was told this would be an academically challenging year for me, and that it may be the most academically challenging year I have ever had.
I'm not going to lie, that made me a little nervous. During my last semester I had been working 17 hours a week, taking 15 credits, and had surgery half way through the semester and somehow managed to come out with no grades lower than a B+. I was very impressed with myself but didn't think I could do that again. Apparently I can because I seem to get sick or injured a lot, and this semester I'm working 20 hours and taking 16 credits. I have managed to keep my grades up and raise those less desirable letters, but still I seem to fall into bed exhausted sometime between 10:30 and 11 when I'm lucky only to get up again at 6 so I can get ready for work.
Let's just say I have felt like there are not enough hours in the day to work, go to class, do homework, fulfill my callings, and attempt to have some sort of a social life, okay let's be honest, I have no social life. Anyways, I was feeling like I had as much on my plate as I could handle when I looked into dates for Grad School applications and realized that first of all the program that I had been planning on applying to, the deadline had passed and I had nothing ready to turn in. Secondly that the new program that I decided to look into required the applicant to take the GRE which I have not studied for at all and which I will have to take in a month.
With all that on my mind, getting up this morning was hard. I felt like the GRE was the straw that would break this camel's back. Then as I sat on my knelt down to say my morning prayers I realized that I had started slacking off in my spiritual duties. I had been staying up later and later doing homework which meant I had been pushing my alarm back further and further until I was getting up and rushing off to work. That's not a bad thing except it meant that I had not been reading my scriptures in the morning and I have discovered that if I don't read my scriptures first thing in the morning it doesn't happen that day. Not that I don't think about it later, it just gets pushed to the side.
Yesterday in Stake Conference I sang with the Stake Choir and the song we sang was How Firm a Foundation. This morning as I picked up my scriptures to read them before getting ready for work I turned to D&C 128, which is a letter from the Prophet Joseph Smith to the saints answering questions they had about the temple. As I was reading this section the third verse of that hymn came to my mind "Fear not I am with, oh be not dismayed, For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand. Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand." I had never understood that the last bit of that verse until now. We are upheld by God's hand. He gives us the strength we need when we feel like we can't go on. All we have to do is remember to call on him.
I had been trying to do everything by myself. I had forgotten to call on God and ask him for the strength to persevere and for the ability to stretch and prioritize my time to get everything done that I needed to. There is such a difference in my life in the days I call upon Heavenly power and the days that I don't. It's not enough to just pray, or just read your scriptures, or just attend the temple. You have to be doing all of it. Christ is willing to lift our burdens and make up for all that we cannot do, all he needs us to do is ask for his help and then do as much as we can.
This is one of my favorite pictures of Christ. Sometimes all we need is to see his face to remember how much he loves us and how close he really is!




Love you all,
Ky

Grace and Royalty

This post is about a princess......

And no, I don't mean Princess Grace!

I mean a real life princess. You may not have heard of her, but she's royalty all the same. 

Still stumped? I'll give you a hint....

She's me.

While you finish laughing, I'll give the back story  If you remember my first post on this blog, my life has been...well...we'll go with insane. (http://thesimpsonsandhobbiton.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-journey-is-far-from-over-but-there.html)

A friend recently posted an amusing article on my time line that sums my life up quite well (http://joannarenteria.com/2011/12/13/i-was-considering-grad-school-and-then-i-saw-this-hilarious/). 

I can't tell you how much I've wanted to feel normal again, not weighed down and sorrowful. And nothing seemed to be helping. I tried to be positive, but inside I was anything but. 

At this point, I still can't in good conscience recommend graduate school to anyone, I am still feeling deceived about it. But I have learned some lovely lessons lately I am happy to share!

Part I: Two Sundays ago I went to the missionary farewell for a good friend. As she has shared her experiences preparing for a mission, I have seen a lot of my own experiences in hers. In her talk she shared some of the apprehension and anxiety she felt about going, and how she knew it was the right thing to do even when she didn't want to go. I found that's like my life when I was getting ready to go on my mission and now: I know what I'm doing is the right thing to do, but I don't want to do it. Then she talked about the Atonement, and the important aspect of the Atonement I usually overlook: grace. I was reminded that as I am obedient to my covenants, I am evenly yoked with Christ in pulling my burdens. And what's more? I don't even have to pull an even share of the weight if I can't. He will pull all that I cannot.  The way I felt during her talk was the first time in weeks I felt buoyed up and full. It was definitely the grace of God that made me feel so good!

Part II: Last Saturday I promised myself I would attend the Temple.  I spent the morning cleaning and it got later and later in the day, and I was running out of time. But I promised! So I got dressed and drove over. It was beautiful outside. Warm and sunny, and everything had that gorgeous golden Fall light. The Temple looked stunning, and when I got out of the car, the smell of Fall hit me and took me back to a bunch of memories, most of which centered around Fall 2010, my last few months in the mission. I specifically thought of this day: 

Enjoying the Fall colors with Sister Adison, Erickson, and Iosua. I had far too much fun with these ladies.

And the Temple looked lovely. So all in all, I was feeling really good about life! Normally when you go in the Temple, the cute little old man at the recommend desk scans the recommend, hands it back and says something like "Welcome to the Temple Sister Simpson." This time it was different. He scanned my recommend and said, "Jessica? Like Princess Jessica??"

I had no idea to whom he was referring, but I'm used to people commenting on my name, so I said, "Yes. That's me!" (by the way, I've googled it, there is no Princess Jessica besides me, in case you're wondering)

He handed my recommend back to me, and with a small bow of his head said, "Good afternoon your Highness, welcome to the Temple."

For a moment I was so confused, and then it hit me: this man is reminding me of who I am. And with that I walked a little taller, smiled, and felt proud to be royalty! My day went so much better because this kind brother reminded me that I am a real life Princess!!

Here's where I tie all of this together. 

In True to the Faith, "grace" is defined as thus: "The word grace, refers primarily to the divine help and strength we receive through the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ..." So the sacrifice of my Savior does more than just pay for my sins and erase my sorrows from Heavenly Records. The grace of the Atonement bears my burdens as I am living them. As you and I walk through life and carry our weights, we are blessed to only have to carry a small part. And Christ will carry the rest. And carry us. And make us happy.  All at the same time. That is grace.

President Lorenzo Snow once said, "As man is God once was, and as God is man may become." As spirit children of the King of the Universe, we are already royal! Step one: become royalty. Done! Not only that, but God has been where we are, so he provided grace (help and strength) to get us to the next step: be crowned Kings and Queens for time and all eternity.  But being born royal means we have to act royal. Now, I couldn't find a conference or CES address about being royalty, so these are my thoughts. Members of royal families understand that their needs come last. Their primary job and responsibility is to care for those over whom they have stewardship. Their people. They sacrifice time, energy, personal needs, and sometimes even their own life for the greater good of their people. These unselfish rulers are the ones history will remember, the times when life was happy and good. Not easy, but good. And it's because the ruler remembered who they were, their duty, and strove to live that way. So. As members of the royal family (all members of Christ's church are part of this family), we have to remember who we are. As a princess, I am obligated to serve my brothers and sisters, my "people". I am obligated to attend the Temple and serve the dead, fulfill my calling without complaint, look for opportunities to do missionary work and perform simple acts of service. And I will find that as I do, I will be happy for it. And the grace of Christ's Atonement will make up what I cannot do. So when Monday kicks me in the teeth (as it usually does), I just have to get up anyway and the grace of God will make my efforts enough.

This is all easier said than done, and I have already done my fair share of complaining and crying this week. But I also know this is path God has prescribed. It will work for me, and it will work for you.

So chin up! Stand up straight, and remember that you are royalty. Be obedient, and you will have divine help and strength to buoy you up every step of the way. Be cheerful, and you will find pure happiness. The kind that never dies.

I love you,

Princess Jess

"Men are that they might have joy!" - 2 Nephi 2:25

I just keep having this same thought rolling around in my head.  Life is supposed to be fun, right?  That is the way it is intended to be, I do know that!  It may not always go the way we have planned.  But, we can choose to be happy, or not, whatever may be going on. That "choice" word is key!  Whether we are happy or not is our choice!  Even in tough times, we can choose to be happy!

I love what Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley has to say about this:

Everyday there are new challenges, but always opportunities for happiness.  It takes effort, sometimes, to look for the good and to smile and embrace life and love it, but, the world is an amazing place and there is so much good in it!  For that I am grateful!  I am grateful for a husband and children who make me laugh and smile each day!!  And, I am grateful for a wonderful Heavenly Father who gave it all to us!  I see His hand in everything!



Choose happiness!!

Mariann